Beyond … The Yellow Brick Road

Beyond the yellow brick road invokes a feeling; am I walking on sunshine or is the “road a hoe” paved in gold? Am I off to see the wonderful wizard or are flying monkey’s coming for me? It’s actually row to hoe, since hoeing a road would be next to nil impossible, but to row using a hoe, would be plausible, albeit at times difficult (laborious). That row of tulips, worth it! Recent studies have shown, that “people” who “have to” correct your speech, grammar, syntax, spelling, and actual meanings are less happy (sarcastically, shocking) than you and I are and likely “smarter”. Hmmm? That can’t be true?

Intelligence and happiness seem to be an oxymoron, paradox, or enigma. I’m sure one of those words aptly apply and since becoming “aware” (conscious, conscience, or conscientious) of this tidbit (knowledge?), I’ve since stopped any and all corrective measures against others. Let’s face it, I’ve blundered so many times, that I would be the biggest hypocrite, and I’ve been dieting and much more svelte these days! This hungry, hungry hippo’s father once wanted me to become a lawyer. How dangerous? I’m way too opinionated, loquacious, insatiable, inflammatory, argumentative, hypnotizing, and apparently offensive (opposing side views). Probably could “piss off” the Pope (forgive me, Father), and not even trying (oblivious to boot)!

I’ve stated this before (what?), but I’m deaf in one ear. I “hear” (maybe selective, maybe subconscious) lyrics, quotes, cliches, names, songs, euphoniums, directions, and slang (just to name a few “side-effects”) completely different than those who hear “in stereo”. And I bet, my interpretations are far more amusing, musical, or complexing; depends on the subject matter. But never pitch! I can sense tone better with each passing and pulsing day. This makes it that much “more”, in learning to understand (comprehension). I’ve developed a “reading” of body language almost better than the spoken word. Easier to rely upon, and not as much a two-step, flamingo, or ballroom dancing upon a magical road or behind the ironed, velvet, red, curtain to fall back on. No safety net here!

“Body language is a type of communication in which physical behaviors, as opposed to words, are used to express or convey the information. (I love a mime) Such behavior includes facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and the use of space. It is also known as kinesics. Although body language is an important part of communication, most of it happens without conscious awareness (watch your micro expressions, Deery).” (Source Wikipedia) Kind of mind boggling.

While we’re on the subject, ball, mannerisms, and on top of other things, Wikipedia states; “facial body language can be interpreted as a sign of genuine emotion, a lack of it may suggest a lack of sincerity (among a plethora of “other” meanings and “distortions”, or disorders). For example, a lack of wrinkles around the eyes suggests a potentially fake smile.” I guess an oily t-zone is a good thing! “At one point, researchers believed that making a genuine smile was nearly impossible to do on command.” (Say Cheese! Dance Monkey!)

“When someone is smiling joyfully, they wrinkle around their eyes. When someone is faking it, they do not. If someone is trying to look happy but really is not, one will not see the wrinkles. More recently, however, a study conducted by researchers found that people could convincingly fake a Duchenne smile (see smizing, photography, modeling, and advertising for further reference), even when they were not feeling especially happy.” Looks can be deceiving and shouldn’t “judge a book by its cover”. Quick shout out to make-up, genes, lighting, and a gorgeous top model named Tyra, who banked the term “smize”. That’s just the “gold-plated” lacquer smothered over a plain concrete brick talking. I must be careful, not to become another brick in the wall.

“The Pan Am smile, also known as the “Botox smile”, is the name given to a fake smile, in which only the zygomatic major muscle is voluntarily contracted to show politeness. It is named after the now-defunct airline Pan American World Airways, whose flight attendants would always flash (pearly whites) every passenger the same perfunctory smile.” Botox was introduced for cosmetic use in 2002, and the perpetual mask has been enhanced ever since, and forevermore. Let’s pray death never becomes her, or ever, becomes “becoming”. Too late!

“Chronic use of Botox injections to deal with eye wrinkle can result in the paralysis of the small muscles around the eyes, preventing the appearance of a Duchenne smile.” It’s “fake” irony, at its “finest”! I could elaborate and embellish more about flight attendants, protocol, and mile-high spies, but that’s for another day of conundrums in the friendly, blue, definitely not ho-hum, turbulent skies. This is your pilot speaking, “Thank you for choosing this stories airline and flying along with us today, please fasten your seat belts”!

“In animals, the baring of teeth is often used as a threat or warning display, known as a snarl, or a sign of submission. For chimpanzees, it can also be a sign of fear.” Learned that branch of behaviorisms while “swinging” with the bonobo monkeys, savoring a banana from the desk of an anthropology class many moons ago. Don’t fret, you won’t be tested, by me anyways, but participation is a guaranteed, easy A.

“In Buddhism, the monkey is an early incarnation of Buddha but may also represent trickery and ugliness. The Chinese Buddhist “mind monkey” metaphor refers to the unsettled, restless state of the human mind. Monkey is also one of the Three Senseless Creatures, symbolizing greed, with the tiger representing anger and the deer lovesickness.” For this stories purpose, our three flying monkeys are called Nicotine (Nikki), Caffeine (Cathy), and Adrenaline (Darlene). Allow me to explain, metaphorically using monkeys for symbolism. Better than what is estimated; “Worldwide, it is thought that between 100,000 and 200,000 non-human primates are used in research each year.” I loathe cages, and experimentation at the expense of an innocent and most assuredly against their will. Free will exists only if you’re a wealthy bipedal.

“Back to the howling old owl in the woods.” “Oh, I’ve finally decided my future lies beyond the yellow brick road! The first flying monkey to attack on the golden pathway was Nikki. At first super cute, but super distracting. Much like the substance nicotine; she acts as a “stimulant in small doses, but in larger amounts blocks the action of autonomic nerve and skeletal muscle cells. Nicotine is also used in insecticides.” Remember yourself and Nikki need oxygen, so let’s distract her back to the trees, because one thing is for sure; you can’t bring a monkey to a concert, maybe a circus, but I wouldn’t recommend it!

If you hang out with Cathy, you’ll enjoy a nice visit, sipping tea, under a leafy tree and surely will stimulate your central nervous system, but she’ll make you jittery and a tad nervous. Let’s pay adieu to Cathy with introducing her to Darlene; a saucy Capuchin, considered an “organ grinder”. Not to be confused with the organ wizard, we’re looking for. Darlene, a lot like adrenaline; “a hormone secreted by the adrenal glands, especially in conditions of stress, increasing rates of blood circulation, breathing, and carbohydrate metabolism and preparing muscles for exertion.” better yet, look for Harmony the monkey, way better company. I fear, we better mosey onward, the show is going to start, and we haven’t even parked!

Speaking of fear, “emotions can also be detected through body postures”. “Research has shown that body postures are more accurately recognized when an emotion is compared with a different or neutral emotion. For example, a person feeling angry would portray dominance over the other, and their posture would display approach tendencies. Comparing this to a person feeling fearful: they would feel weak, submissive and their posture would display avoidance tendencies, the opposite of an angry person.” Can you smell fear? Don’t slump, chin-up! Hope I didn’t get us turned about face?

Fake it, till you make it; fun little phrase to boost confidence or explain, “monkey see, monkey do”! “Gestures are movements made with body parts (example hands, arms, fingers, head, legs) and they may be voluntary or involuntary. Arm gestures can be interpreted in several ways. In a discussion, when one stands, sits or even walks with folded arms, it is normally not a welcoming gesture. It could mean that they have a closed mind (monkey ears) and are most likely unwilling to listen to the speaker’s viewpoint.”

Thanks to some magnanimous, selfless, inspirational teachers, professors, chancellors, and instructors; I’ve learned to become “self-conscious” of my body language, and constantly “aware” of perceptions, stance, and “security”. Of course, being of the female gender, “we’re” consumed with our “place” in the world, subjected and projected, upon all “selves”. Listen up, we’ve got more plans scheduled, and games to attend. That ball isn’t going to bounce itself.

Love a good game of “Four Square” while jaunting across a yellow brick road, with me (this “square”), on a gloriously sunny, March, Spring afternoon? Wikipedia, and my fourth-grade class states, “Four square is a ball game played among four players on a square court divided into quadrants. The objective of four square is to eliminate other players to achieve the highest rank on the court, and this is done by bouncing the ball back and forth between quadrants. A player is eliminated when a ball is bounced in a player’s quadrant and the player is unable to touch the ball into another player’s quadrant.” One “hears” expressive noises, whilst involved in a “good” game of ball, anywhere, everywhere, and while progressing in years! We’ll roll on, “we” always do.

Everything is in bloom, so I’ll pack plenty of tissues. On the menu this vibrant and colorful day are detectible(s) that consist of strawberries, black berries (because you can never!! have enough berries), cinnamon oatmeal. Thought there was going to be more, didn’t you? Ok, honestly, I’ll pack us a deli spread for lunch and pasta salad with artichoke hearts and olives, and I will bring the grapes!

I could “talk” body language all day; why you tap, tick, and talk. Why you squinch, squirm, and squeal. Why you sniff, fidget, and “shy” away. Why you chant, chime, and “chin” everything out. Stare blankly, or why you gaze off into the universe, horizons, sunsets, “looking” left or right, and a bunch of other “quirks”, perks, and the ever so mysterious smirk. “Don’t roll your eyes at me!” Your posture and mannerisms can speak volumes!

This would entail an entire day spent writing about, sign language, passive aggressiveness, immaturity, behavioral sciences, civil rights, animal and corporate law, and vegetarianism. All while we “dine” either by park bench, shady spot on the grass, drive thru, or the passenger seat of my Honda. Afterwards, while we are nourished, completely “stuffed”, we can quietly and respectfully enter the St. Francis of Assisi Parish Library; “Sshhh,” coming from the inner confines, located behind a sturdy desk, and standing “rightly”, Sister Jean. As our eyes adjust, and we acclimate to our environment, it’s recognizable that we are now surrounded by a vast, musty view of a Godly presence and an enormous amount of knowledge.

“Hush, trying to study over here!” I can truly appreciate when “people”, whisper a yell. Beware, an angry whisper always makes me laugh (out loud). Let me introduce you to the “nun other”, Sister Jean. It is my honor to share her stoic, Godly, “presence” with you. As of this day our extraordinary teachers are on strike in our hometown. Much has to do with this plague against humanity, but I can honestly state, teachers are the unsung heroes in life. Our saving graces!

I can’t even begin to appreciate how much they have done for me, and presently do, and the vast many who help mold and inspire, without an apple, a thank you, or hug to mention. Most dip into their own pockets, which isn’t much, and have claimed an oath to fulfil a higher purpose, a Godly promise, regardless of anything else. The school bell rings, and everyone bolts from their seats. We’ll have to show our gratitude, by completing all our assigned homework! Highest honors for all, and straight A’s to report across the akashic record board game of best teachers overall!

Don’t get me started on accents and enunciation. “Mumblers” (people who mumble or make it difficult for someone to hear) are still cringey for me, especially in retail. Customer service is a tricky and dark road, no one wants to get lost on that street. Not to be confused with bumblers, who can be quite entertaining. Try to avoid cursing, suing, and the use of ain’t; no one wants their mother to faint, or fall in a bucket of paint. If this improbability or irrationality occurs, a rub a dub dub, you got to get in the tub. Splish splash; we’ve got a concert to attend and a wizard to recommend. And we’re off to see the wizard of royal and musical proportions!

When are you going to come down? And we have landed at our destination, ARCO arena; that actually closed this past weekend. For this magical concert of epic musical proportions, we don’t even need a ticket. Magically ushered, this queen, to our seats and we are pretty close to the floor, only one mishap to mention. My seat is snuck behind a pole, but not blocking my view of royalty personified! Oh, I’ve finally decided my future lies, beyond the yellow brick road and Sir Elton John a wizarding maestro. This epic sorcerer’s fingers flew over the ivory keys at lightning speed, and I saw him “catch air”, during crocodile rocks. The ghostly packed arena came to life, electrifying every listener with absolute delight! This tiny dancer is still standing, lingering, and wafting about like a candle in the wind.

Can you feel the love? This story, disclaimer, and song just for you; all a masterful, debatable, work of art and fiction, or just a piece of work. Sacrificing your time, sorry does seem to be the hardest word. Don’t let the sun go down without a thank you for strolling along the yellow brick road with me and I hope to meet again under an umbrella of fireworks, in the gardens of magical thoughts, sonatas, ricotta stuffed raviolis, plot twists, and heavy pets. Maybe not in that order, but assuredly extraordinary. I think it’s going to be a long time before I’m writing about “rocket men” again. Till then, Bennie, I’ve got to jet …