This story is about all the places I’ve day tripped before, not to be confused about the song, “being a play on words referring to both a tourist on a day-trip and a “trip” in the sense of a psychedelic experience.” We’ll chat acid trips, knick-knacks, rollercoasters, up-side-down rides, best friends, trucks, and the third of July another day. Not quite what this story entails. No psychedelics laced, but a few psychopaths endured. It’s not a ditty by Willie Nelson or The Beatles, or my distraction and reason for the entire tripping episode in the first place, or “I just rescued a pair of shoes; they were trapped in a store.”
Once in a while you have to replace the worn-out souls. Oh yeah, “Got a good reason for taking the easy way out.” My new shoes are killing me, and I’ve got to “break” them in. Pack light and leave your fears behind you, they’ll only weigh you down and draw attention to yourself. Should wear sneakers, for this stealthy hike through criminal mischief, parental alibis, and suspicious eyes. “I’m not afraid of heights, have you seen my shoes, Carrie?”
Actually, if I were to write about all the places I’ve tripped before, we would be here all day and well into the next few eons, not to mention the shoes themselves with their otherworldly tales. Although, I would very much enjoy strolling through this endeavor, if time permits, God willing. However, the exact meaning for a day tripper is “a person who goes on a journey or excursion, especially for pleasure, that is completed in one day.” Call me curious, clumsy, or chatty, just don’t call me late for dinner!
No, this story doesn’t start to far from here and not that long ago; just a quick hop, skip, and jump away. We can ride the light rail or walk from here for the time being. “So many shoes but only two feet!” A gorgeous day awaits with clear blue skies, highs in the 60’s, brisk and crisp. Rain is in this forecast, so we better get a move on. Chores finished, polished off two hard boiled eggs, and some strawberries. I won’t say just how many cups of coffee, and we’re “lit” to get this “show on the road” (“Let’s get moving, swing into action. Here is a cliché of American origin (or my father on an everyday week early morning) that smacks of the circus and the traveling theater group. It dates from around 1910 but seems to have come into overwork during the 1960s.”). Didn’t everything?
The dynamic, flirty, hair sprayed, colorful, dancing queens, highlighted, charming, glamourous, “maked up”, late eighties we’re talking. Perms, giant-oversized sweaters, leggings, scrunchies, hot-pink, and these brand-new half boots at Macy’s, with pointy toes. I fell in love, more ways than one, and got myself all fixed up to go shopping! Not too much gets my fancy, but shoes are my Achilles heel, and have thrown all logic out the window pertaining to them. “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.” Thanks Marilyn, I couldn’t agree more!
No, I took to heart, these boots are made for walking, but actually weren’t. I really have never found a pair of boots that are suitable for walking, long periods, fashionably speaking. Seriously, let me know, when or if they exist. Leprechauns are easier to find, I imagine, but that’s another day of writing about Timberland, rainbows, gold, Doc. Martens and Martin’s, music, snares, Irish folklore, sugar comas and “cookies”, castles, and defamation suits. Your Sunday one-way ride already paid!
Had a Summer job at a shoe store once upon a time, on a dusty road in Folsom. The era of the grungy 90’s, stormy (metaphorically), angry vibes, dry heat, and toxically gaseous. I can’t even begin to “run-down” the horrors witnessed and endured down that dark dismal corridor of broken hearts, ravines, lockers, wicked step managers, nightmares, crimes, and tripped up laces. Looking back, (“The past is a pebble in my shoe, Edgar.”), I see a set-up, or a slippery slope at my expense, up ahead, and *looking back*. No, Patsy is not my name and I’m wearing all white through this escape, I don’t like to get dirty anyways!
Thinking my love for shoes would finally pay for itself and with absolute “blind”, gullible, confidence (should have known better) applied at a newly built shopping mall for wholesale prices, hot off the factory presses. “If the shoe fits”, right? (“You say if the shoe fits when you are telling someone that unpleasant remarks which have been made about them are probably true or fair.”) What you’ve “heard” about me, might be true or jealousy manifested standing upon platform shoes. Gossiping isn’t good, but I really did need that job and paying one’s way through school is expensive, however, I underestimated the heat, deception, betrayal, and the havoc that does to people’s feet.
Also, recently, stepped on data that “A poll taken consisting of 1,057 women by the Consumer Reports National Research Center found U.S. women on average own 19 pairs of shoes although they only wear four pairs regularly while 15 percent have over 30 pairs.” My half-off coupon sounds better, or yet, buy one pair, get the second free. “According to Glamour, the average woman will buy 469 pairs of shoes in her lifetime. All in all, she will end up spending $25,000 on shoes,” she can’t “walk” in.
That’s a down payment on a house; let’s tread lightly, a cobbler is out of the question, but I can make you a peach cobbler that’s sinfully divine, minus the sin, gluten, dairy, or soy. Step lightly means “To be delicate or careful about a certain subject or around certain people as to not cause drama or problems.” Not looking for any rough terrain, or very expensive “kicks”. My credit score, nor behind and feet, can afford this! Oops, stumbled right down a mudslide and I loathe getting dirty. Ungraceful! How gauche?
“Footwear products are commonly made of leather, textile, and a range of synthetic materials. In 2020, the global footwear market was estimated to be worth over 365 billion U.S dollars”, and climbing rocks, hills, mountains, skies the limit. We could surely use a recyclable process and for today only, they’re working on shoes that can take flight, but be weary of Icarus who flew too high to the sun. That’s a mile high club, I don’t want to join, and another story blazed through history and around the world. The sun can scorch those soles fast.
“The history of human development shows that the importance of protecting the foot was early recognized. Records of the Egyptians, the Chinese and other early civilizations all contain references to shoes. The shoe is repeatedly mentioned in the Bible and the Hebrews used it in several instances with a legal significance, notably in binding a bargain. 4,000 years ago, the first shoes were made of a single piece of rawhide that enveloped the foot for both warmth and protection.”
“Up to 1850 all shoes were made with practically the same hand tools that were used in Egypt as early as the 14th century B.C. as a part of a sandal maker’s equipment. To the curved awl, the chisel-like knife and the scraper, the shoemakers of the thirty-three intervening centuries had added only a few simple tools such as the pincers, the lapstone, the hammer and a variety of rubbing sticks used for finishing edges and heels.”
“In Europe it wasn’t until the eighteenth century that women’s shoes were different from men’s and heels on shoes were always colored red.” (Now ya know!) “Shoes all over the world were identical until the nineteenth century, when left and right-footed shoes were first made in Philadelphia.” “The Cradle of Liberty” is a unique city and has just as many nicknames. It’s normally chilly in Philly, but the next few weeks of spring look to be perfect! Whatever shoe flatters the mood and maybe Converse a better option, while running up the 72 “Rocky” steps, yelling for Adrian at The Philadelphia Museum of Art.
“High heels for women are believed to have originated with Catherine de Medici, a 16th century Italian noblewoman who was short in stature (nothing else) and wanted to make a bigger impression when she arrived in France to marry the future King Henry.” Waiting for the other shoe to drop, we know how that story ends and not in a royal ballroom, dancing the night away. Let’s promenade on. This lineage still being played out, (bunions and toe fungus about) and unraveling torrid history as we speak. “It doesn’t matter how great your shoes are if you don’t accomplish anything in them.” I would like to clarify, only wear if good intent is to be worn at all times. Be good to your feet and everyone you meet.
“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!” Just like Billy Connolly philosophizes, I walked that mile and at the bottom of the hill my manager, fellow college student, slash too cozy with my straying boyfriend took me aside. Actually, outside the premises, late at night, after closing and whispered a “blackmail”, highly organized scheme, a so-called “heist”, with yours truly being the “diversion”. I’ve heard this sad song before, and it never ends well.
Sadly, that budding career was about to go up in flames, chiefly my law enforcement, law abiding family would definitely have a conflict of interest. “Dumped” my cheating boyfriend (Like cheap knock-off shoes) (they ran off together), put on my red high tops and danced the blues. Well, it definitely wasn’t a walk through the roses, but I did end up diverting danger, kinda.
Day of crime spree, no sleep to be had and I could make coffee nervous, anxious as all get out! I’ve never stolen anything, and I like big butts and cannot lie! Mustered all my courage and I spoke with my father and let him know my concerns, trepidations, fear, and mainly my dread (impending doom), what the plans of mice and men entailed for my demise. My father was a force to be reckoned with and not the person to cross.
I was shocked, that he agreed with me (work came before anything and everything) and didn’t take lightly breaking the law and throwing away my freedom key. His words, “You aren’t going to allow thugs to dictate your future!” Artfully and poetically (many expletives used), he told me what to say and do. I feared retaliation, unemployment, and actual physical threats, but what transpired was divine intervention, my hand didn’t dabble. “You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.”
“As I live out my life, I would be wise to remember that the size of my shoe does not dictate the depth of my print.” Took my size 7 shoes and quit that job. Could have turned them all in and “outed” their criminal mischief. I’m not a nark. This smooth walker and talker did what I had to and cursed out my ex-manager, turned terrorist. Essentially, I just said, you’ll get what you deserve and never darken my door again, but with a lot of vigor. Accidently ran into her (ex-horrible bosses, frienemy, manager) not that many blood moons ago, and was thrilled I still have the same affect. She’s terrified of me. Thinks I’m a witch, when really that was karma slinging that hearty, justified, timely, “bitch” slap. Only time, I like or will use that word/term.
The police did show up, “like gang busters” accordingly and apparently, and the manager of mayhem “got away”, scattered like a cockroach and her cohorts slithered back under the rocks they crawled out from under. I “heard” through the “grapevines”, more like dust in the wind, sporting keds that a few were arrested, their shoes couldn’t run fast enough. I’m sure she’s behind every e-bay, only fans, on-line, catfishing scam. Her name “Lonnie” and I’m sure she’s sporting Christian Louis Bordo Crystal Embellished High Top Sneakers, around $1400, don’t forget tax, free shipping helps and especially when it’s someone else’s credit card. On the better side of the tracks, “Known for his iconic, red-soled shoes, Christian Louboutin is synonymous with fashion and luxury. Whether classic or cutting-edge, his shoes leave their wearer feeling sexy and strong.” I’ve never even tried on a pair and my shoes are under $20.
What are the most expensive shoes worn about town? A dazzling and stunning collection consist of obscene and clearly obnoxious amounts of money (I cannot begin to fathom):
- The Passion Diamond Shoes – $17 Million. The world’s “most expensive” pair of shoes are worth USD 17 million were launched in October 2018 in UAE.
- Debbie Wingham High Heels – $ 15.1 Million.
- Harry Winston Ruby Slippers – $3 Million+.
- Stuart Weitzman Rita Hayworth Heels – $3 Million.
- Stuart Weitzman Cinderella Slippers – $2 Million.
“These shoes are amazing and the story behind them, even more so. While they are listed at $26,000 the actual cost for a pair new was only $10. Designed by Nike as a replica of the shoe worn by Marty McFly in the Back to the Future II movie. There were only ever 89 pairs of these produced and they were raffled by Nike in 2016, for $10 per ticket. The proceeds from the raffle were donated to the Michael J. Fox foundation for Parkinson’s Research. They are fabulous shoes. They feature glowing LED panels, which can glow for up to 5 hours from the built-in battery, and about 3000 hours until you’ll need to replace the battery. These are the first rechargeable sneakers from Nike. The sneakers come complete with an anti-gravity magnetic case, a battery charger and even a commemorative pin.” (Source moneyinc.com/most-expensive-shoes-in-the-world)
“Keep your head, heels and standards high.” We’ll veer from that stinky job and back to the store of epic loafers, heels to heaven, and slippers to traipse around everywhere we want to roam, either a velvet green or plush purple will suffice. “I make shoe contact before eye contact,” and was looking down, never seeing the wet floor sign covering a child’s vomit, or the couple people surrounding said disgusting incident.
Normally, I’m very perceptive, but this was in my younger days, and anything that glitters or incased with satin, I consider gold! And just like Victoria Beckham’s stance, “I can’t concentrate in flats”! Last dance! (“Mary Jane (pun and innuendo for the day); This can be a flat or heeled shoe which like a pump encloses the foot all the way around it. The front of this shoe will be square or very slightly rounded with a cross strap running across the foot central between the ankle and toes.”) The choice of the shoes can tell a lot about you!
As if “trying out” for an audition to be one of the Rockettes that year, I was decked out in black and headed for the shoe department, half booties tractor beamed set straight ahead. “The Rockettes are an American precision dance company. Founded in 1925 in St. Louis, they have performed at Radio City Music Hall in New York City, since 1932.” That’s many taps, kicks, splits, and fluffy arm muffs! Exceptional dancers, artists, influencers, and fashionistas.
Something went seriously wrong with the floor and one leg slid forward while the other leg slid backwards. I’ve tried doing the splits before and thought I couldn’t! I stand corrected, except I was no longer standing. Full splits now commenced in Macy’s and plenty of bystanders to witness. I’m not one for attention. Guess what, not one person offered an arm or a leg to help me up. I know it was funny, but my legs, normally loyal steeds, have lost the ability to bend. Maybe they went into full blown shock like me, but I did what I had to. Grabbed the nearest humans’ leg, hoisted myself up, apologized and thanked them at the same time, and ran out of the store. Surprised that yack was still on me and I didn’t get sick from this, nor did I burn my leggings.
“The boots Neil Armstrong walked on the moon in are still floating around in space,” and so are my boots from Macy’s. My closet needs an astronaut’s organizational skills. I’m off to spring clean some more, I have pretty big shoes to fill. Who knows what I will find in the clutter drawer? Thank you for walking this story with me. I hope your paths are heavenly well lit, divinely paved, safe, sound, and healthy to explore and bound. Please come see me again soon and we’ll chat more stories, conspiracies, concoctions, and home-grown brews, stews, and you guessed it, more shoes! “The heart of the shoe is the sole.” Be good to your souls!
Beyond Sirius Sea 